From milk fat to reservoir tips everything is a life lesson in this episode, where one of Pier 69's most mysterious members makes the mistake of getting personal in front of assholes. Joey recounts one of the most dramatic high school rally experiences of his life and Andrew rails against the institution of the Nickelodeon awards from the comfort of his separate room. An embarrassing moment occurs when the topic of "books" and "reading" arises and Mark only dates chicks that don't have female friends. What could it all mean?
To be fair, we prefer red wine too, and no members of this podcast would consent to sex with Aziz... but that wont keep us from wading into a complex issue, and creating power rankings. Mark makes strong fake allegations against Ellen DeGeneres and strong real allegations against another prominent member of the comedy community, while we all free the Duke Lacrosse team to return to their careers in Finance. Also, matters of local drama come to the fore and Mark and Joey survive a narrow brush with ball cancer. White dude beach football claims Joey's knee and Andrew goes on a rave cruise. This podcast has something for everyone.
*Excuse the poor audio quality at the beginning, it only lasts 2 minutes*
New Years 2018 turns to be a very unfortunate one for every member of Pier 69. Joey's trip to India yields a surprise twist, and vape guy has both a really unfortunately speech impediment and a food court turf war. Andrew breaks his record for least words ever said on a podcast and we learn questionable things about Mark's ability to fuel a car.
This podcast is really a work of art because it starts with a story that never gets told... and ends when it finally comes back up but then we quit early because we realized that we could play Mario Kart and also we only had three mics.
The sick boys are in the house to discuss the true crimes of fake cereal characters and the overall value of breakfast. In a shocking turn of events Mark has a healthy morning routine and David DOESN'T eat. Mark educates strangers on erectile dysfunction and nobody has any thoughts on Net Neutrality. David almost proclaims the demise of a Korean dictator and gets quizzed on synonyms for despot, which is a word he definitely doesn't know. Joey introduces us to Ronny the Treasurer and nobody likes it. Andrew's brain breaks in a whimsical way and the truth about dicks and technology is revealed.
AMERICA'S HOTTEST NEW AM SHOCK JOCK RADIO SHOW MONKEY AND THE QUEEF IS BACK. HONK HONK, PFF PFFF, *THROWS POOP*
Also meet the world's first deaf podcaster, and other inspiring stories. If you've ever wondered how to turn a dick into a vagina or whether restaurants on the water are good, this episode will be big for you. If you never saw the show Nip Tuck you're going to be bored for 5 mintues or at least Mark was.
The super coolest anti-pod is back to discuss The Strength and what is it anyway?
Lava lamp guy stops in for an identity crisis, Mark doesn't have throat cancer and David struggles to read off his phone. Everyone discusses their preferred way to die and Joey learned a French phrase so he has to tell everyone. Also middle school makeouts, the small dick lobby and Mark's favorite races on the golf course.
We didn't get around to baseball
The crew begins by mourning the death of a dear friend of the Pod but finds the strength to move on and unpack the political hotbutton issue of Filipino Barber Shops. Andrew shares the values he has learned and instilled teaching at a Chinese immersion school and everyone discusses their uncomfortable sexual past. Mark poses the single worst hypothetical of all time and celebrity rumors are unveiled.
The guys come up with a hero we need AND deserve while Mark wonders if Captain Morgan was a historical figure. They highlight Mark's showdown with TSA and upcoming trip to Hawaii. Then everyone fails at marketing terminology and argues about how to pee. It all leads up to a surpise ending.
Podcasting during one of the greatest baseball games ever played, everyone weighs in on whether or not a professional athlete should have been given sensitivity training for calling a Japanese and Iranian man a little Chinese boy. They discuss their careers in burlesque and Mark's past fame as a Jackass knockoff. Joey recounts when he was the bassist in a band for which he made hats, then everybody gets real excited about fish. They talk about life on AIM, and David's orthodontic plans.
Everyone talks about their criminal histories, and David's is the dumbest. Mark reminisces about his favorite Coat Factory, and Andrew goes to the Color Factory to take pictures of himself.